Hold the animal very close to your nose and breathe on it. This is to accustom the hamster to your smell. Should it respond by singing or otherwise acting the fool, you have a tame hamster. However, if it starts breathing heavily on you, exercise great caution. You probably have a very sophisticated brute who intends to tame you back. Most likely, your hamster will just bite your nose. You need to tame it.
After conducting the Domestication Diagnosis Test, you need to establish your authority. Display your hamster whip (available from leading pet shops). Crack the whip and issue your instructions, slowly and clearly.
Example
'Now attend to me, Hamster. It is my intention that we have a long a fruitful relationship. It is necessary to establish certain ground rules. I shall quell my human instinct to kill any non-human on sight. In return, you shall not bite me. I'll think of further rules as we go along. Break any rules, and I buy a gerbil. Understood?'
This example demonstrates clearly the contractual basis of the relationship (Jacques Rousseau would have loved it). You will notice that your hamster is by now in some corner of his cage, considering the matter.
Repeat this process six times a day for four weeks. Persevere. After all, the skin on your nose will mend eventually. As for your hands, do NOT resort to gloves. This is known as 'hamster cheating'.
NEVER! NEVER! resort to drugs. S.A. Mitchelheimer's experience should be sufficient warning of the danger of taming hamsters with licorice. (They found him the cage with the hamster cracking the whip.)
There is not a lot you can do with hamster after you have tamed it. It just eats and runs around. You CAN add interest to your taming process, however. Here is what you do.
You get a parrot and teach it to utter the instructions to your hamster. Parrots have hamster-proof beaks and are excellent mimics. On the other hand, you may find you have a wild parrot (see Practical Guide No. 48).
