Don't you get tired of the new kind of language being promulgated by our business schools? The thoughtful Nipponese don't waste time on all those "innovation strategies", ponderously pronounced by marketing schools. Instead, they go for the jugular . . . fast!"
Too often it is said by spokespersons from Thames Valley University that our oriental brothers have passed their peak. Don't believe it!
"What do people need?" they ask each other. (They do this in Japanese.) After a maddening period of mutual interrogation, they swiftly formulate and execute a marketing plan. This always results in yen satisfaction.
You can adopt this approach. You can go one better. Take your existing profile of products and develop new and exciting marketing concepts, building on entrenched customer loyalty. An example will suffice.
Do you remember that well-known baby food called "Fundamental Infant Nutrient Mixture"? Most people can remember Mother slaving away for hours mashing up the ingredients. Sales were stagnating so the family put the old Company Chairman in a nursing home and let the Japs in!
In no time at all, the product was revolutionised and repackaged as KIDIPUSS™: The Wonder Food for Cats and Kids!
Impossible you say? Well, just follow this great theme-setting ad!
SCENE 1: A SUBURBAN KITCHEN
The kitchen is dirty and untidy, littered with unwashed dishes and pans. Its decor is dull grey. The lighting is defective. A young child in a baby chair is crying in great distress. In the corner, a young woman in drag garb sits vainly trying to feed a large cat with a small spoon.
Enter a svelte young lady, dressed in a pastel coloured dress and white shoes. She is vibrant with energy. Her name is Anne.
ANNE: Hello Gwen! I say! You look awful! Hubby trouble again?
GWEN: (sighing) Not this time, Anne. It's all this feeding. First it's baby, then the cat, and then it's baby's turn again. It seems to go on all the time. I just can't cope!
ANNE: (brightly) Oh, is that all? Why not try KIDIPUSS™: The Wonder Food for Cats and Kids? (Holds up tin for close-up pack shot.) Use it now and every day! It's an Omnifood Item!
GWEN: (desperately) I'll try it. Anything to save my marriage!
SCENE 2: THE SAME KITCHEN – TWO WEEKS LATER
The kitchen is immaculate. The decor is light blue and cream and is lit like a film set. In the background is the baby, contentedly eating some bright, pink, soft food. Enter Gwen, dressed in a neat, light, pink outfit. She carries a tennis racquet. The phone rings. She picks it up.
GWEN: Hello Anne. Just off for a game of tennis. Yes. All's fine, thanks to KIDIPUSS™! Yes, I took your tip. I've also been giving it to Tom – quietly, you know. Yes, it's made all the difference. It's made him so . . . attentive! Yes! Pussy loves it too. Life's marvellous, thanks to you, and KIDIPUSS™!
The camera retreats to long shot. There appears a huge, fat, pink cat, eating something. Suddenly, it stiffens and topples over sideways. Another close pack shot will cover any advertising embarrassment.
